Missing piece

Last night I spent the night at the library with my daughters.  They had earned it by participating in "no screen week."  It was a fun, late night and the library was packed.  There were over 400 campers of all ages.

As I lay trying to get some sleep on the cold, hard library floor I could hear toddlers crying and parents reading familiar stories to their little ones.

All at once I was reminded of the stories my daughters had loved, the books they checked out so often I finally bought them their own copy.  The books I had planned to buy when we found out we were having a boy.

So there I was curled up in a sleeping bag in the middle of the library, surrounded by strangers suddenly wanting to cry.  I was tired and in an unfamiliar spot.  I wanted to be home, away from the happy moms, away from the picture books, away from the reminders of what I didn't get to have.

So I prayed, I thanked God for my daughters, I thanked God for His Son, I thanked God for eternal life and the hope of heaven.  It is still hard for me to not have James here but I am truly thankful that where he is, is a happy place.  It is a place without pain or suffering.  And it is a place full of love.