A funny thing about blogging emotions, sometimes they change quickly or don't quite make it out onto the page. For me that has meant many blog entries that were started, some even finished but never posted on line. Some of them turned out to be to personal, not meant for others to see. Some where to insensitive, since my readers are mostly known to me sometimes I don't want one of them to have to see how I feel so I keep it to myself. And sometimes I am just to distracted life keeps going around me and I get caught up in it.
But two and a half years later I still have the same emotions they are just a little less raw, a little easier to hide and a little less anxious to be shared.
The church nursery helper sign up form was passed around last week and I looked at the sweet little ones that would be back in the nursery and I wondered if I would ever want to help again. I simply don't want to. I don't want to hear the young moms talk about their baby troubles and triumphs, I don't want them stuck with me if I'm in a melancholy mood.
Some weeks would be fine but others would be a struggle so I didn't sign up. I wonder if they will understand or if they will think I forgot, I don't want to have to explain so I hope noone asks about it later.
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