Nov 2nd

Yesterday someone asked me, "So where is your baby?" I couldn't answer so she continued, "Wasn't it you that was having the baby?" I guess my face said what my words couldn't because she then started mumbling, "Oh, I'm so sorry, I didn't know."

Of course she didn't mean any harm. She didn't really know me but had seen me around looking quite round just the month before. And after all everyone love to talk about how cute the new baby is. But she was the first.

Up until then I had dealt with sad hugs, "I'm sorry"s and "we're praying for you"s. But everyone had known already, I hadn't had to tell anyone. I couldn't. Even now I'm not sure what to say, how to explain, "He's gone to heaven." It sounds so empty. It feels so empty.