spring

There are days I don't miss my son.  Not having a preschooler to entertain, or keep track of.  My girls are old enough I don't have to worry about them.  And they are way past potty training.  I'm not sad to have missed out on that stage.

Then I feel guilty.  I would have hated potty training but I would have been so proud of him when it was over.  It would be work to keep him busy but I would have loved watching him learn. 

It is hard to be glad that I'm past the "little" kids stage when I know I am missing out on my littlest one.  But also want to be glad as my older two grow.  I want to enjoy them getting older with out constant regret.

I cannot be sad that my son is in heaven.  I cannot regret holding him for that short while.  His life was precious but his eternal life is even more precious!

So is it ok to wish I was with him, to hope for eternity, rather than wishing he was with me?