Dreams

I had a strange dream last night.  I dreamed I saw my son.  I told him how much I missed him and still loved him.  I showed him all the things we had saved from when he was born.  It wasn't like he was here more like he was visiting.  At the end of the dream I had to say goodbye again.

It was weird, felt real, and I can't quite shake it.  I guess I let my mind wander to much lately and creaky doors keep the mind awake while the body sleeps.  Some dreams are in between sleep and awake, they tend to feel more real and are harder to forget.  This was one of those.

Now my day is starting in a slump, not depressed sad, more lonely.  Two and a half years has been a long time for me.  There have been so many changes and life has moved so fast.  It was strange to look back and feel it all so fresh.

looking back on 2012

It was the best of times it was the worst of times, only not the first part.

2012 will be the year Jon graduated from college (finally) and the year my dad died.  I will remember how hard it was to to watch my parents, my dad's sickness and my mom's grief.

I'll remember how anxious I was for Jon to finally be done with school and the aggravation of job searching.

Much of the year is a blur of working at DQ then staying home all the time.  Of schooling my daughters and moving out of the apartments.  Of praying for friends and acquaintances as they suffer heartache.

It has not been a year of joy or celebration but it has been a year with God in control.  I suppose as long as we trust in Him it is "the best of times" because He is there with us.