My Dad past away a few month ago, it's weird but I'm not sure how long exactly. Right now time is measured by James' death and I don't want to remember the two together so my dad doesn't get time, for now.
Anyways, my family, sister and I especially but the others also, tend to treat dad's sickness and death with humor. We'll make jokes about it and laugh about things other around us don't. Someone told us we were being mean because, even if we are joking, we make those around us feel bad. She was probably right. It probably is mean of us. But my dad was a joker. There were things growing up that were inappropriate unless they were funny. If it was funny you could make an exception for it. So when I think of My Dad I want to remember even the saddest moments with humor.
People talk about being "sick with grief' and I always thought it was just a figure of speech until I experienced it. Now I feel as though I have cried enough for this life time, I have been sad enough. From now on when bad things happen I don't want to cry I want to just keep going. I can handle "uncomfortable" much better than "sad."
